masochistic martyrs made

Erosion of bone

Given all that we could hold

Revisions of home

Self deluding self

Masochistic martyrs made

Killing to feel guilt

Knowing what we are

Identifying a need

Simplifying life

Presence in chaos

Expectations whirling by

Dreaming of the wind

Doubting consciousness

Given energy to rocks

They know what we are

Pain of existence

Vortices of nothingness

Egos crafting shields

Love and gratitude

What we feel is what we know

Do the things you are

Knowing in reverse

Bioarchaeology

Tracing mutagens

Distance versus time

Spaces between memories

Traveling in us

Interstitial space

Frozen but slowly thawing

Yielding minerals

Chaosticity

Given what we never earned

Earning what we know

May we find our truths

May we disengage from fear

May we dream in peace

x

sincere but not serious

Gone but not absent
Braiding and unraveling
Becoming rivers

dreaming is living
consciousness will come and go
breathing into time

Bifurcated hearts
Moving blood without intent
Empirical life

Learning is earning
In much wisdom is much grief
Striving after wind

Verifying light
Hallucinating a life
Falsifying time

circulating light
ebbs and flows of consciousness
tides yield no answers

experiences
sincere but not serious
living what we know

confronting the tides
evolving efficiency
synthesizing time

Consciousness alight
Most would rather learn than fight
Humanity lies

epigenetics
proximal abandonment
vulnerable minds

Fortifying hearts
Conscienceness of consciousness
Standing in our skin

all this, all that, all along

all i love Loves me

all i want will let me go

all i lose i keep

all i hear hears me

all i see i've never heard

all i keep i lose

all i do does not

all i feel begets my name

all these names are lies

all i touch touched me

all these nerves and bones are love

all this love is truth

all this truth is me

all i am i never was

all this all Is All.

all that hate fears me

all that fear lives within me

all that time is dead

all those moments rise

all that rises must condense

all that water bleeds

all that blood is love

all that Love mourns for our time

all those moments Feel

all that feels Can feel

all those feelings dislodge blocks

all that blocks can move

all that moves can dance

all those dances Remember

all that moves can block

all that Will will not

all that love and Will will not

all that god knows Is

all that knows is god

all God is Is Us and Them

all that knowledge burns.

all along we know

all we know we've learned to share

all along we've grown

all along it was

all it was, it was, It Was

all alone at war

all along it heals

all the wounds of triggers pulled

all along we knew

all the wars for time

all the time it always Is

all ways, all along

all along we laughed

all our laughter unearthed Light

all along it shone.

(5/2008)

widening trenches

life cannot be owned
yet our lives can be rented
choose tenants wisely

must acknowledge truth
cannot hide behind the fear
all is transparent

Grief distills knowledge
Data has no desires
Knowledge forges grief

most facts will dissolve
most of what we know is wrong
only time will tell

blood cannot be held
life cascades through what is left
widening trenches

existence conspires
learning what we cannot know
launch me into space

egos are not men
what we are is who we are
flesh and blood and bone

confluence of time

all things in their time
we are virtues to patience
waiting for today

conscience arising
bodies giving birth to thought
language questions us

burning unknown fuel
unafraid to kill or die
ancestors forgive

justice eludes form
what is right will still be right
sans acknowledgement

Life cannot be owned
We participate in it
Earth facilitates

chasing ghosts with knives
what is imagined can't die
sympathy denied

gratitude for pain
we need more than we would choose
life is humongous

Most things are not real
Most things cannot be defined
Some things wish they were

intuition bled
aware of unawareness
dots connecting us

Growth implies movement
Movement implies perspective
It's good to be wrong

Scavenging for hope
Conscious efforts multiply
Everything connects

Eruptions of life
Satori in every cell
Zen can only point

convection of youth
particles participate
willing black to grey

thinking disorders
data cannot organize
vulnerable mind

what we've seen is truth
what we've done is everyone's
what we feel is ours

division of will
uplifting mechanisms
confluence of time

Fortitude forges itself

picking hidden locks
knowing self is the true goal
authenticity

Inundated blood
Saturated atmosphere
Thought evaporates

Vastness of the world
Existence is all we know
Inherent bias

Incubating blood
Ferocity of this world
Pride is delicious

Surviving ourselves
Seeking freedom from Nature
Only brings despair

Wishing ain't working
Fortitude forges itself
Inside all mistakes

Hearts can't reconcile
Willingness is all we have
Please keep showing us

Human hearts and minds
Abandon your politics
As they've done to you

Identity lies
Overcoming unknown hells
Blood tells us our name

Nature teaches heart
Power isn't relative
Lightning doesn't judge

Sharing sorrow bonds
Death and Love pull us towards truth
Photographs concur

humans shaping space
cannot purge our future pain
purifying homes

Memories of lives unlived

Invisible eyes
Memories of lives unlived
Dream of rods and cones

Meditative moons
Metastatic mourning minds
Mediating mud

 intentions unwound
giving what we choose to give
coercions dissolved

holding hate is hell
habits of hatred hold him
hexahedral howls

prying joy from fear
consciously relinquishing
grateful for these wounds

love by how we live
live by doing what we love
laughing as we learn

Humans framing thoughts
Fabricating enemies
Straw men dream of fire

Hierarchies of dreams
Wrapped his heart in broken glass
Pain is relative

Grasping and slipping
Nothing here is owned for long
Eternal cycles

Trials and errors
Every failure brings new truth
Remember their love

Grateful for this breath
So much life in all this blood
Oxygen loves us

Cautious cognitions
We are what we attend to
Promote what you love

bodies dream of mind

bodies dream of mind
born to move and grow and die
replicating life

Division of will
The sword cannot cut itself
Conscious negation

so much to unlearn
horizons don't wait for us
all things in motion

Maybe they're not sure
Maybe there's another way
Maybe anything

Feral memories
Wandering from mind to mind
Never needing rest

the more that i say
the less that i want to say
life is weird like that

Effort trumps belief
What you do is who you are
Choose wisely mah friends

ignorant of life
dying to control the past
unaccountable

Reactions persist
Consciousness shares life with us
Can't know what we aren't

All we love we lose
Cannot possess space nor time
We do what we are

Past selves live in genes
Present moments live in us
Future selves must wait

Acceptance of time
Seems the world has lost its mind
May our hearts align

what needs force needs time
answers sought need hard questions
compassion needs us

Electrified mud
Viruses and cuttlefish
Life keeps creating

tendons yielding bone

Motors minus men
Masticating medicine
Muscle moving mind

ferrous consciousness
human memory systems
oxidizing genes

pacifying mind
un-imagining the sky
clouds cannot comply

Born from everything
Nothing to defend or claim
Clinging to our veins

Mirrors in our hearts
Reflecting all we can see
Knowledge is a wave

digital ethics
linear cognitive time
circular beliefs

Iridescent love
Spectrums house our consciousness
All things in their time

circling the grief
cannot fill these holes with time
life fills holes with us

Tendons yielding bone
Trading balance for a stone
Redefining home

long forgotten genes
carrying our history
inside every thought

Scavenging for hope
Seeking meaning and value
Zombies can't do math

antiquated

abjecting action

blissfully borrowed blue blood

cacophonous chance

deriding drawings

electrocuted eggshells

found frozen frailties

guilt gestating glue

homeopathic hearsay

invoking Iceland

juxtaposed journeys

knowledge knowing ketamine

lachrymose laughter

morphologic myths

never needing niacin

ovulating owls

purgatory purged

quiet qualifying quest

remuneration

staccato subtexts

tantalizing tepid truths

unsung ulnas used

vast viremia

watching water wearing wool

xenomania

yohimbine yielded

zulu zygotes zipping zinc

(All Antiquated).

6/2009

dreaming dreams of human beings

transience of mind

permanence of life and death

resolution lost

blood electrified

latent laughter permeates

carrying our grief

sorrow holds our hands

wailing with our ancestors

heartache holds our hearts

eating past regrets

drinking mercury and lead

pain metabolized

sacrificed the fear

constructs compromised and sighed

peace made with the void

time becoming space

dreaming dreams of human beings

space becoming breath

nothing to undo

all forgiven, all atoned

love to every thing.

wordless burial

carrying this pain

dense and heavy as the day

neverending night

weightless buoyancy

clouds resemble fingerprints

signatures of you

draining blood and lymph

swirling spirals edify

longing to adhere

timeless slavery

patterns long identified

stealing thunderstorms

infinite decay

re-building what we have lost

no comparison

hatred sanctified

all encompassing embrace

wordless burial

unassuming faith

nothing more and nothing less

wake me when we're there.

vision isn't relative

clenching eyes and teeth
premises are ill-defined
nothing matches heart

facts cannot be shaped
everything is what it is
knowledge underscored

turning heads and minds
vision isn't relative
three eyes opened wide

teleportation
descending on snakes and mice
consuming shadows

killing apathy
insecurities denied
no room for this fear

nothing to hold back
dreaming this reality
challenge fortitude

standing tall and broad
affirmation of the task
Loving Every Thing.

teaching clouds to know our face

sadness deep and wide
rivers made of memory
emptying our blood

staving off the dark
fighting fights i cannot win
just to have a name

sterilizing love
alll she sees is what she fears
brothers getting lost

yield to higher truths
everything is making way
carving paths in time

unacknowledged pain
fariness does not coexist
sense of justice scorned

hearts keep carrying
asking why and cursing sky
clouds keep rolling on

tears evaporate
teaching clouds to know our face
show them back to us.

vowels of grief

aperture acquired
ambuscaded anchorites
apathy aligned

everlasting earth
every edict eroding
exert energy

incubating ice
increase inward infusion
isolating ills

occluded origins
order obliterated
obfuscating orbs

undulating urge
ultimatums undid us
universal urn.

verbs of grief

wading treading scream
thrashing pulling grabbing choke
sinking crying sunk

sweeping punch kick drop
panting sweating wringing rung
dealing coping sick

altered altering
herding shaping wondering
destroying doubting

stumbling drinking bled
crawling wailing opening
singing spiraling

reading writing thrown
clinging masking suppressing
drawing exploding

spinning throwing clot
cauterizing grinding weld
culling standing pinch

purging paying spent
raising pleading trying try
learning living love.

sounds of grief

explosions in the mind
lowest frequencies of life
ancient tension sprung

broken teeth and nails
grinding metal chipping bone
ringing overtones

amplifying pain
adding weight to everything
eerie layered drones

atonal screechings
resonating dissonance
one-part harmony

dripping blood on glass
weakened pulse of family
pushing blood to brain

winding backwards clocks
everlasting tinnitus
pennies in a jar

every utterance
bathed in timeless drifting sleep
infinite echoes.

seasons of grief

heavy Winter sigh
"there will always be more time"
wholly unprepared

cloudless, warm and bright
died on such a gorgeous day
reinventing Spring

cleansing rains repelled
martyring herself in spite
longing to control

axis tilting down
endless Summer suffocates
strive to care, to breathe

numbness overwhelms
rebirth demands sacrifice
shedding everything

finally a drink
fed those Autumn skies my tears
clouds appreciate

cosmic convergence
one hundred and thirty one
seasons did he see

lost magnetic North
searching for the Equator
balancing a sphere

frozen eulogies
"this moment is our Everything"
heavy Winter sigh.

fibrillations of grief

atriums aligned

alternating awareness

acknowledging arms

bringing balance back

bezeled bloodied broken bones

bundled bonded bliss

cauterizing clots

cardiac congruence cast

clusterfucking code

demonizing debt

demonstrating diligence

decorating death

entrance edified

elegant entrapment ends

egocidal earth

frantic flustered fluke

fibrillations fluttering

fibonacci's fucked.

pains of grief

grieving gratitudes

given granulated guests

galvanizing ghosts

hatred hurried her

held him horizontally

haunting haunted homes

indigence infused

incapacitating ire

insulate intent

jacent jackhammers

jugulating janiform

jurimetrics jest

kalon keratin

kleptocratic Krakenites

kinchin killing kin

lashing lamina

lysing luminous lutrine

lockstep lucent lies

mourning mother's memes

masticating megaliths

mulled mendiloquence

neverminding nails

nascent neurologic naos

nocent nebula

optic overpoise

ontological orant

octave occlusion

passive pathogens

purloined pleural prototypes

preagonal pain

spaces of grief

quantifying qaids
quashing quibbles quietly
quotients quoting quarks

reinvented rage
revolutions rescinded
resonating rust

skewered silent songs
sacred solidarity
syndicated selves

transcendental times
tears tried transcribing this thing
transmissions thwarted

unsung ugliness
universal utterings
uproarious urns

vindicated vice
vespers vacate violently
voluntary void

withered willfully
wondered why we watered wombs
whimsical warpaths

xeroxing xylol
xeric xenophobia
xenogamic xyst

yellowing yardsticks
youngest yearbooks yearning you
yielding yonder yolk

Zarathustric Zen
zincographic ziggurats
zygomorphic Zu.

born with numbers in our blood

Interstellar skin

Bones and blood will live again

Time is getting thin

sanctuary hides

sense of home feels all alone

where do we belong?

clouds are our witness

water records everything

can't repress the sky

unseen hierarchy

questions don't imply answers

"sorry for your loss"

Time and space will bend

Always balancing the costs

Deferring to love

trying to stay sane

all my status updates now

written in haiku

ferrous emotions

occlusion of pains long gone

prone to rust but strong

predetermined life

born with numbers in our blood

one day they'll add up

Tenfold transitions

Timeless twilight transcended

Truthful tyranny

Streaming overhead

Every word that was not said

Tightropes of the dead

Watching whirly winds

Wholly wanting wakefulness

Wishing wistfully

half of me dissolved

declination rise

crescendo of yearly flight

spiraling through space

grateful for this time

watching love unfold anew

years becoming breath

breath becoming life

watching pain dissolve in truth

understanding us

working with our ghosts

seeing everything anew

these genes harbor pain

reconstructing life

excuses are vanishing

these genes harbor love

Choose identity

Ancestors can only sigh

Can we know our truth?

sometimes seeing straight

never underestimating love

always finding ways

grateful for today

time and space for family

learning all i can

Holy fucking hell

Music makes life bearable

HAPPY GODFLESH DAY!

half of me dissolved

learning to live with the pain

ten of me could not

please enjoy your life

all we do is all we are

fucking hug someone

symbiotic resonance

so much suffering

symbiotic resonance

so few healing words

alive in this muck

we are what we attend to

fuck your boogeymen

unlearning the lies

drink to all i haven't done

find presence and will

Existence of mind

Cumulative joys and loss

Weirder every day

Saturated ground

Flowing to the lowest point

Coalescing life

fortitude of life

gratitude for drought and rain

all things in spectrum

Matter meeting minds

Gratitude for pain and joy

Everything unwinds

Sorrow in my heart

Seeking things impossible

Love and time for All

listening to stars

quantifying harmonies

better to just sing

feign identity

organs competing for time

interdepending

recycling motives

walking backwards towards our fate

mirrors holding us

sometimes Truth dies giving birth

Momentum assigned

Changing habits of the mind

All things in their time

muscles compressing

hearts keep churning blood and time

mind is staying home

One more moment gone

Compresses each memory

Time can heal itself

Projected a fear

Murdered possibility

Buried in a heart

Learning to unlearn

Living moments all are we

Then one day we aren't

Listening louder

Laundered livers lingering

Laugh love live learn leave

honor those we love

learn from past mistakes and laugh

so much yet to do

choking past regrets

destroy and begin again

suffocate the pain

spectrum of a life

how we see fuels what we feel

what is right, for whom?

acceptance of death

how we feel shapes how we see

what is wrong, for whom?

subjective justice

sometimes Truth dies giving birth

how to reconcile?